A Blog Entry About Nothing
I meditate daily. My meditations can sometimes last from one to two hours at a time. I sometimes mediate twice a day. Needless to say, in that amount of time a lot seems to happen, or sometimes not. Lately when I meditate I have found it difficult to connect to my “voice”. Meditating and what happens during meditation is so personal and usually involves no words, so as I write this, I am using secondary explanations for primary ones. I sometimes channel during my meditation, which is a lot like tapping a vein and connecting in such a way that words, ideas and feelings coming from Source Energy (or whomever) just flow through me. I write furiously, never really knowing what is written until I look back on it days later. On other occasions, I write stories or ideas from a feeling or delve into my imagination while meditating and see where that goes and what I come up with. There are many, many variables and I really dislike giving everything a label, but suffice to say that a lot of creative, intuitive “stuff” goes on. Then there is the place of “Nothing/Everything” when I meditate. I loose the boundary of my body with a feeling of expansion. It’s a sense of spreading out in all directions. In this space there are neither questions to be asked nor any to be answered. It is a place of being. I have been spending a lot of time in that space lately and not moving from there. I go up to the attic and gently whisper “Hello? Hello?” but I sense nothing. The space is cleared and all I see is a shaft of light coming through a window onto a cleaned floor. All seems quiet inside me and I feel a bit stuck, like there is no movement. I am not connecting the way I usually do and I am finding it rather curious. Not being able to connect enough to even write a blog entry is unusual and reminds me of the show Seinfeld. The whole premise of Seinfeld was a “show about nothing”. At least that’s how Larry David termed his concept but when you truly look at the episodes, it was hardly a show about nothing but on the contrary, his shows were filled to the brim with plots and subplots. So I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write and I’m feeling a lot like Mr. David in that I’m not coming up with anything or so it seems. Is it possible to write an entry about nothing? I think not. Even nothing is something. So I go back over my notes from the last few days to see if there is anything that I can share … possibly a feeling or thought that others can relate to and here is what I find. In one of my most recent meditations I asked; “Why am I feeling this void?” This is the response I wrote down; “That’s just where you are. All is well. You are at a place where you have cleared out a lot. Don’t be afraid of that space or try and fill it with “stuff”. Just let it be. There will always be movement, expansion, and change. Just be with what is right now even if it feels like nothing. A lot comes out of just being. After a while something will come along and spark your attention. Till then, don’t push. There is no pressure. Moments like this are good. They are the pause before the movement. The in breath before the out breath. It’s the simple rhythm of the universe. Don’t judge it.” And there you have it. My blog entry about nothing with a little bit of something thrown in. Maybe it’s a contraction before the push? Who knows … we’ll see.