Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Crossing the Fence

In the last couple of months I have had a reoccurring vision from my childhood of a fence.  This particular fence separated me from my freedom.  It divided my life in two and whenever I recall it now, I can still remember the feeling of being held back from my dreams. The wooden fence was in the playground at my grammar school and ran along the border of where we were allowed to play and what was officially off-limits.  I did a lot of day dreaming, my eyes cast upon that open space and wanted what I couldn’t have or what I thought “They” wouldn’t let me have.  

In reality the fence was put up between the school yard and an owner’s beautiful, open field next door so that Inquiring Minds wouldn’t meander into someone’s property.  We, like good sheep, were herded together and expected to stay with the herd, no straying allowed.  There were wooden steps that straddled the fence, two going up on one side and then two going down on the other with a shared platform at the top.  The steps were placed there in case a ball flew over the fence and had to be fetched by one lucky student.  I remember one time nonchalantly creeping over to that fence and with stealth-like precision, placed myself down on the first step unnoticed, then slowly moved up to the second step with my eye on making it to the top platform.  I was spotted and promptly asked to remove myself from the stairs and go back to the school yard.  What would I have done if I had found myself on the top with one foot over the edge toward that wide open field?  I don’t know but the idea of testing the boundaries and making an escape was exciting.  

So why now this repetitive reflection on the fence?  Obviously what it meant for me then and still symbolizes for me now is simple; Freedom.  No matter how the theme comes up for you, be it politics, money, job, family, etc., Freedom will be front and center in the next couple of months.  The choices that it brings up, the hesitations, the fears, the directions we take and the “allowing” of it in our lives will be the prevailing experience.  Freedom is all or nothing ... a “little bit of freedom” doesn’t work.  That is not truly being free.  It would be like me getting to the top platform of that fence and dangling one foot over the other side.  Not good enough!  At that point I would just be playing with the idea, trapping it and keeping it back.  Haven’t we all been doing this for quite some time now?  Making compromises with our lives, our desires and our soul’s yearning for free rein?  With freedom comes peaceful surrender, the capacity to turn our backs on limitation, confinement and servitude.  

So here is the real plan; simply, time to cross the fence and experience the freedom that comes with it.  No thinking.  Just doing.  See ya there.

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